Fresh Monarch of the Land of Giant Bodies

It's been a long time since I've used this. Well over a year. In fact, since I started using this back in Dec. 2011, I haven't taken this long of a break.

[Currently listening to Canned Heat by Jamiroquai]

Sunday before school. Always kind of a sobering moment. I perhaps that goes for everyone(?).

___

Fast forward to Tuesday.

I really do appreciate the blog. I appreciate being able to look back and ask myself, "that's what I said?!" That's usually not a good thing. Also, in a general sense, blogging, especially about yourself, is so selfish. It's basically saying to the world, "look at me! look at my opinions and everything I have to say!" What makes me so special?! Nothing, really, other than my self-perception. At the end of the day, there's that, and then there's the perception of others.

I digress.

I miss this space. I miss the space to vent and to express frustration, happiness, and opinions that I normally wouldn't share.

I think moving forward I really want to focus on happy shit, but it just won't happen. All the happy things I readily share with others. I don't readily share negative sentiments with others, which is why I think I've habitually done it here.

That's been more and more on my mind recently: negativity. In the following sense: When someone shares their frustrations with me. I'm instantly turned off. I want people to be HAPPY! I want them to share a story about how they laughed and loved that day. How they saw something beautiful. How they heard a beautiful new song or melody. How they saw the cutest dog, or some crap. Ate the best meal? I can go on. There are many positive, small things to celebrate. We're mostly preoccupied with more stressful things, though. That's a generalization, but it's been happening to me more and more recently. I'm right in the middle of doing something then BAM "ugh this happened to me today..." or "ugh this person said this to me today..." or some crap. I just want these people, friends, coworkers, family, to be happy! To be joyful! To spread love and happiness in the world.

Gotta start with myself maybe, because I feel like a hypocrite right now. Whenever I catch myself going there I stop myself and say I don't wanna talk about it. Mostly because I don't. I just want to chat about the new Ru Paul episode (total guilty pleasure).

*smile*

Tomorrow is a new day.